It happens in the most sublimely happy relationships; sometimes, you and your partner get stuck in a sexual rut. This is a normal occurrence and nothing to feel ashamed about. Luckily, there are ways you and your partner can rekindle the romance with these exciting ideas for spicing up your sex life.
1. Go Someplace New
Breaking out of your old routine is always a great way to find new excitement with your partner. Have a date night to somewhere entirely new, even to a locale out of your town.
Being someplace unknown helps you break free of your same old routine, as you experience something you never have before. Exploring a new city with your partner brings you closer together, and that intimate bond may result in some more sexual activity in your relationship.
If you’re feeling very daring, you can always have a good old make-out session in your new location. As long as it’s within the bounds of respectability, getting hot and heavy with your love may lead to more sustained time together when you get home.
2. Watch a Steamy Movie
Getting into the mood with your partner may be as simple as popping the popcorn, getting under the blankets, and watching an exciting, sexy movie together. Netflix and chill with movies such as Magic Mike, 9½ Weeks, Fifty Shades of Grey, and Basic Instinct.
These flicks can help inspire you to find fresh ways to enjoy each other in the bedroom.
3. Set a Timer
As any couple with kids knows, if you only have 20 minutes to get down to business, you make the most of that time together.
Even if you don’t have children, you may have already experienced something like this in your love life. When you only have a half-hour before you have to be somewhere, things can get very steamy.
You don’t need to grab your kitchen timer, but maybe give your partner a wink and a raised eyebrow before you have to be someplace low-stakes, like a movie or dinner reservations.
4. Try New Botanicals
Certain tweaks to your diet and lifestyle could bring significant results in the bedroom as well. Botanicals such as Kratom are an excellent way to improve your well-being so you can feel great when it’s time to get down to business. When you learn more about Kratom, you’ll find the benefits can promote better restfulness, more motivation, and a kickstart to your morning routine.
White Vein Kratom helps consumers seize the day, lending a motivational boost to your activities, especially love-making. Legend and lore in Southeast Asia defines Kratom as an aphrodisiac, and there seems to be some backing to these claims.
Adopting a new wellness botanical like Kratom can help your body feel its best and maintain the key homeostasis that keeps activities like sex fresh and enjoyable.
5. Talk About Your Fantasies
This may be well-trodden ground in your relationship, or it may have never occurred to you before. Vocalizing the things you think are sexy and that turn you on (either about your partner or general sexual fantasies) can have an arousing effect on you.
This doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and it takes practice, so don’t despair if you feel awkward or weird at the beginning. It may even help to write down some of your fantasies to help get your motor running.
Trading sexy letters may be part of your sexual fantasy, so writing all the things you love about your partner may be an arousing activity. In the age of technology, try sexting with each other through text messages. Consider using apps such as Snapchat or Vanish Mode on Facebook Messenger to ensure your messages are for your lover’s eyes only.
6. See a Sex Therapist
If you’ve tried these suggestions and still feel you and your partner are stuck in a rut, it may be time to visit a professional. Sex therapists are trained and paid to talk about sex—the sex you like, the kind you don’t like, and everything in-between.
You may feel as if taking this step is implying something about your relationship’s virulence, but that is exactly the opposite of the truth. Bringing in a professional who knows how to talk about culturally taboo topics and who is trained to make you feel comfortable about it may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life.
As with finding a new therapist or psychotherapist, it may take a couple of tries to find the right person. Since you’re looking for someone to see with your partner, the right practitioner should make you both feel comfortable.
Other ideas all depend on what you think is sexy or what your partner thinks is sexy.
Maybe your partner’s ideal date is pizza and watching the game. For a novelty gift, give them a coupon for just such a date (with a little something after). It doesn’t have to be the perfect gift, just the gesture of knowing what your partner likes can be sexy.
If you’re into role-playing, you can explore different aspects of your imagination with little risk.
Meet out for a date where you don’t arrive together, if possible. Dress up and pretend to be someone else, maybe create a bit of a backstory to spark something. When you see your partner across the park or the bookstore, or the diner, it will be like seeing them as new.
Arriving together is familiar, especially with couples who have been together for a long time. Pretending to be strangers, changing clothing, or even dying your hair can be enough to help you remember the excitement of when you first met your partner.
The Final Word
Every once in a while, we need a boost, something that shakes us out of our old routine. Whether that’s going to a new locale, exploring a new botanical, or trying on a new persona, getting out of your same old routine can make you feel turned on and sexy.