Photo: BlueCrate.com
Photo: BlueCrate.com

OPINION 

It turns out that clip-on man buns are a real thing

Once an April Fool’s joke, it appears you can now actually purchase a removable man bun

Added on

By Hannah Banks-Walker on

In 2015, ASOS decided to stage an April Fool’s joke. I can almost imagine the meeting. Sitting in a conference room, laughing away, someone tried to invoke the most ridiculous, the most unbelievable – and, let’s face it, the most heinous – thing they could possibly imagine. It was a clip-in man bun. People (presumably) gasped, retched and giggled incredulously at the very suggestion. And, when ASOS went ahead and tweeted about them, everyone got the joke pretty quickly. Because, of course, nothing so preposterous could possibly exist. Except, three years later, it can, because – as I’ve said before and I’ll say again – 2018 is trolling us all and I’m not even sure what’s real anymore.

Well, what is real are these clip-on man buns. They’re £7, highly flammable (although that is an assumption) and, honestly, should be stopped immediately. Not sold by ASOS but by BlueCrate.com, the description reads: “The hair extension that attaches to your head! Giving you the perfect man bun, anytime, anywhere. Simply tie up your hair. Open up the man bun. Then secure it to your head and enjoy the new hairstyle you deserve.” I would argue that the only people that “deserve” this aberration have perhaps done something terrible in a past life. And actually, maybe not even then.

Man buns are pretty questionable anyway, but that is my personal opinion and I completely appreciate that, if you’re a long-haired lover, you need respite from neck sweat as much as the next person. But if you are a short-haired gentleman, you do not need a clip-in man bun. No. No, no, no. If, like the time I wrote about the horror of seeing men in sandals, anyone feels the urge to label me “sexist” on that great forum we call Twitter, I’d like to preempt such a response by saying this: that’s not A Thing. And also, you know what? Women are constantly told what we can and can’t wear, our appearances constantly scrutinised. So, if men find it difficult to hear that they all (yes, all) look hideous in sandals and shouldn’t buy a clip-in man bun that resembles a small hamster who has curled itself into the foetal position out of sheer terror, then maybe that’s just something they’ll have to try and overcome. Is it 2019 yet?

@hlbw 

Tagged in:
hair
Hannah Banks-Walker
Men
Opinion

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