The nights are dark. The mornings are dark also, and cold, with rain spattering the windows before we’ve even emerged from our duvet cocoons. To check the time on our phones is also to have extinguished any tiny flame of hope in our breasts thanks to the hourly barrage of fresh atrocities that is the news (the latest: America is going to war with China, possibly, and LGBTQ people may have fewer rights) plus, as anyone with a winter commute will have learned, it turns out heated towel rails do fuck all to warm a chilly bathroom.
So what do we need at a time like this? Obama is on holiday. Hillary is licking her wounds. Do we need a squillion thinkpieces on executive orders? Do we need carbs? Chocolate? Cat-based internet escapism? Well, yes. But ALSO we need Beyoncé. We need Beyoncé painted like a kitsch Mexican madonna from the 1960s, kneeling in a garden of blossoming fecundity, wearing a green veil and frilly blue pants, announcing her pregnancy to the world via Instagram. I mean, Donald Trump may now be king of the castle, but Beyoncé is queen of our hearts, and the fact that she’s bringing more of herself into the world – twins no less! – can only be a good thing
Of course, when I announced my pregnancy on Instagram, with a sly shot of some non-alcoholic cider and a “Baby on Board” badge, I was perhaps too subtle. No one got it. Next time I should take a leaf out of Beyoncé’s book. She dropped her announcement on the first day of Black History Month, and within hours hers had become Instagram’s most popular post in history – attracting over 7,400,000 likes and 360,000 comments.
A happy announcement of a new baby (or two), especially in dark times, is always joyful news. Almost as good, though, were the reactions on Twitter:
Obviously, this is a lot of expectation to put on a pair of innocent unborn twins. But let’s not forget that these are Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s twins. Who run the world? Well, give it a few years and let’s see.