Miss Piggy is the hero that 2017 needs

Photo: Getty Images 

What do we need in a world of Weinsteins, Trumps and pervasive gloom? A porcine diva with a killer karate-chop, says Hannah Banks-Walker

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By Hannah Banks-Walker on

It’s easy to feel demoralised in this endless news cycle of doom. Not even festive cheer can break through the depressing fog of sexual assault allegations, Brexit boredom and, you know, Trump. Remember when Fräulein Maria encouraged us all to sing about a few of our favourite things? Well, mine used to include House Of Cards, Dustin Hoffman and dressing gowns. Not anymore. Where the tasty chocolate treat hidden in my advent calendar used to add extra sweetness to my day, it’s now just a bitter reminder that, thanks to Brexit, Toblerones are getting smaller. What are we to do? Enter Piggy.

Among the usually depressing headlines the other day was news of the Fashion Awards. There was a tribute to the late, great designer Azzedine Alaïa; Christopher Bailey picked up the Outstanding Contribution to British Fashion Award; Adwoa Aboah was crowned Model of the Year; and Miss Piggy hosted proceedings. That’s right: Piggy greeted celebrities on the red carpet, dressed in a dazzling Anthony Vaccarello dress, upstaging most of the world’s most beautiful people. And as I watched her work her tiny little trotters off, I suddenly realised what I should have known all along: Miss Piggy is the role model we all need right now. She is a shining beacon of light; an example of unwavering self-confidence, independence and success. Who’s more badass than Taylor Swift? I think you know the answer to that.

Miss Piggy on the red carpet at 2017's Fashion Awards

Few people enjoy Piggy’s level of fame for so many years. While some celebrities struggle to stay relevant in our ever-changing climate, Piggy marches on, more successful and determined than ever. “I don’t care what you think of me, unless you think I’m awesome. In which case you are right,” she has said in the past. Why am I not repeating this to myself in the mirror every morning?

A lesson to us all in resilience, Miss Piggy dusted herself off and carried on, providing us all with the post-breakup mantra we all need: “Haven’t you heard? One is the new two"

She has not always had an easy ride. Her much-publicised relationship with Kermit was a turbulent one, which ultimately ended last year in divorce. Around the same time, The Muppets was cancelled by ABC after only one season – a move which can’t have been an easy pill for The Pig to swallow. This was her much-anticipated return to a regular TV slot – and was abruptly cut short due to disappointing ratings. But while her fellow Muppets have taken a step back from the spotlight, Piggy’s star only gets brighter. (Incidentally, ABC if you’re reading this: Big mistake. HUGE.)

A lesson to us all in resilience, Miss Piggy dusted herself off and carried on, providing us all with the post-breakup mantra we all need: “Haven’t you heard? One is the new two". Thus followed appearances on the cover of Love magazine; she took on Gordon Ramsay on Junior Masterchef and she upped her Instagram presence, which as everyone knows, is what success in the modern world is all about. Her inspirational quotes include “Behind every great woman are more great women” and “If people don’t stop and look at you in awe every time you walk past, you need to go shopping”. Words to live by, I feel. 

While Piggy is indeed an antidote to our current political climate, a quick delve into the archives proves that she’s always been the icon – in the truest sense of the word – we all crave. She’s taken on the fitness videos designed to encourage women to feel badly about their own bodies – entitled “Snackcercise”, Piggy shows us all how to correctly eat some of her favourite snacks, including banana splits. She’s loud, brash, unapologetic and fearless – all the things that aren’t traditionally thought of as “feminine” traits. And at the same time, she’s entirely comfortable with her own sexuality and femininity: “Moi has always possessed a charm that is lethal to men,” she has said. She recently dated Josh Groban.

As we usher in the start of 2018, morale struggling to pick itself up off the floor, Miss Piggy is the tonic we all need. A reminder that there’s a lot to be said for a strong sense of self and an ability to give zero fucks. An encouragement to face adversity with a proverbial (although in Piggy’s case, literal) karate chop. I, for one, will be embarking on a new course of affirmations, said aloud to myself each and every day. Firstly, when it comes to fashion, “If you’re happy with how you look, don’t worry about pleasing others – it’s not as if their opinion actually matters!". Secondly, “express your feelings all the time, unless you’re trying to hide something”, and finally, when I’m pressed up against a man’s armpit on the Tube, unable to liberate myself from the tyranny of my daily commute, I’ll bear in mind Piggy’s response to that age-old adage about valuing the journey over the destination: “You have to be going to a pretty awful place if getting there is half the fun.”

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Photo: Getty Images 
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Hannah Banks-Walker

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