Like any great Ocean's Eleven-esque heist team, we at The Pool each have a unique set of skills. When the going gets tough, and when the news cycle becomes horrible, Marisa and Lynn can be relied on to commission, research and produce brilliantly concise stories that help make sense of current events. And me? I can be relied on to stick my fingers in my ears and say "LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, LET'S ALL GO EAT A BUN WHILE HOLDING HANDS."
Today is not just Monday, it is the Monday. It is the Monday people are referring to when they say "ugh, Mondays". As a result, the national mood is less like a population of adult human beings and instead closer to this husky dog refusing to get out of the bath.
Cry, noble beast! Cry for the bath you will never receive! Cry for the lies and the treachery in the world! Cry, cry, cry!
But just before you give up on life like this dog has given up on hygiene, remember that some genuinely nice stuff did happen this weekend.
Two police officers got engaged at Pride
Usually, Pride happening at all is reason for celebration. But then this happened!
And then this!
Jenny Slate and Chris Evans seem to be enjoying one another
Yes, I know, celebrity gossip is stupid and we're all very shallow for paying any attention at all, but I find it immensely comforting that Jenny Slate and Chris Evans seem to be enjoying their relationship. They attended Slate's premiere this week for The Secret Life of Pets where she told the press:
"I haven't really had a large premiere before, so it's nice to have someone who knows how it goes. We didn't know each other growing up, but we grew up about half an hour away from each other (in Massachusetts) ... It's kind of like I got my dream 7th grade boyfriend."
Plus, this video!
Coldplay paid tribute to Viola Beach
Viola Beach, the indie band that were tragically killed in a car accident during their first tour earlier this year, were given an "alternative future" by Coldplay last night. "We're going to let them headline Glastonbury for a song," said Martin, before playing their single Boys that Sing. A video of the young band was projected on screen while Coldplay provided extra instrumentation. And yes, everyone cried.
The Pope urged the Church to apologise to basically everyone
There's been a lot of talk of who is handing who poisoned chalices this weekend, but it should be noted that no one was handed a stronger glass of poison than Pope Francis. He is, for all intents and purposes, A Good Guy, trying to drag a notoriously backward and corrupt religion kicking and screaming into the future. Or if not the future, at least the present. Or if not the present, at least ten years ago.
“I think that the Church not only should apologise … to a gay person whom it offended but it must also apologise to the poor as well, to the women who have been exploited, to children who have been exploited by (being forced to) work. It must apologise for having blessed so many weapons.”
Andy Murray might win Wimbledon again
He might though!
There's a Facebook page called Susie's Senior Dogs and I can't stop looking at it
Life is so hard, and it's just sort of nice to know that there's an entire movement dedicated to adopting really old dogs. Have you ever been to a wedding between two people in their seventies, and there's kind of a quiet dignity to the whole ceremony? There's this understanding that both people have seen the best and worst of life, have had children and grandchildren, and yet have made the decision to share their heart with a new person? It's quite an amazing thing.
This is a bit like that, except with very cute dogs.