Everyone knows a Disney person. No, I don't mean the woman who constantly takes Buzzfeed quizzes identifying her as Belle from Beauty and the Beast because she ticked "reading" as an interest. I mean the Disney nut. The person who plans week-long vacations with their partner to Disneyland, the person that has a bracelet that says What Would Walt Do? and the person who is deeply knowledgable of any and all staff changes at Disney HQ. These people can list all the fish mentioned in Under the Sea, and they're damn proud of it.
And now they have their own dating site! Okay! It's called MouseMingle.com and it's built under the proviso that "Traditional internet dating sites don't understand the passion people have for all things Disney. But we do."
And indeed they do. The questionnaire you need to fill out is as lengthy as it is detailed. Applicants must specify their favourite Disney characters, songs and shopping habits. Do you buy character-related items, artwork or souvenirs? What Disney park do you call your "home" park? How often do you go? Are you THE Disney person at work? WHAT TYPE OF ANNUAL PASS DO YOU HAVE?
Let me be the first online writer to speculate that this dating site seems fishier than Ursula the Sea Witch, and to me, looks an awful lot like a way to monitor purchasing behaviour of adults who buy for themselves rather than children. I ask the Disney Nut in my life, my friend Alex, what she thinks. Within minutes she dismisses the site as not being for "real" fans because Oswald the Rabbit doesn't appear on the favourite character list. "I fart in their general direction" she says dismissively, then makes a joke about Michael Eisner that I don't understand.
If Mouse Mingle is legitimately trying to set up Disney fans, then more power to them. If it is a global conspiracy however, I wish to be known as the Carl Bernstein of this particular Watergate.