The Shape of Water
The Shape Of Water

LOVE & SEX

There’s now a The Shape Of Water-inspired dildo

And it’s already sold out

Added on

By Lily Peschardt on

Contrary to popular belief, the true sign of a hit film isn’t being nominated for an Oscar or even a Golden Globe. It’s not making nearly $50m at the box office or attracting glowing reviews. The true sign of a hit film is when a corner of the internet is inspired to make a sex toy based on one of your characters.

So, by any metric, Guillermo del Toro’s fantasy romance, The Shape Of Water, is a hit.

An enterprising Tumblr user, XenoCatArtifacts – who specialises in monster-inspired sex toys that look distinctly like overpriced candles – has created a dildo of the fish-man’s willy.

The Shape Of Water-inspired dildo
 

For those who haven’t seen it, the film is a love story about a mute cleaning lady and a terrifying-looking fish/monster/man-person who’s being held captive in an American research laboratory, who fall in love and have lots of sex. Standard stuff, really.

It’s painted 'mesmerising crackled gold, bright blue and deep sea green' that partially glows under UV light, which isn’t something I personally have in my boudoir, but you do you

The fish-man’s tackle – audaciously named the “Small Jewel of the Amazon” – is 6in long, 2.5in wide and has four simulated piercings and faux rings underneath the head and around the shaft – presumably from errant fishing hooks that went awry. It’s painted “mesmerising crackled gold, bright blue and deep sea green” that partially glows under UV light, which isn’t something I personally have in my boudoir, but you do you.

Unfortunately for all of you hoping to ride out 14 February with this slippery sucker, it’s already sold out. But for those who managed to get their hands on one, hang a “Gone Fishing” sign on your bedroom door and go forth and find out the real shape of water.

@LilyPesch

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The Shape Of Water
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