Dear Viv: I hate my new job

On this week’s podcast, Viv discusses what to do when a new job has eroded your confidence

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By Viv Groskop on

Dear Viv,

I recently have got married and relocated – not far, but far enough that I had to leave my old job. My husband and I didn't live together before and now we are in our first home together.

I feel very happy to be married, and love our new home and living where we live. However, I find that I am really really missing my old job, to the point where in the morning I am quietly crying while I sit on the platform waiting for the train.

I am a teacher and at my old job, I found my confidence after a really rough training year. I loved the school and felt really motivated to contribute to it because I really felt that they were doing amazing things and I loved being a part of it. There were negative things about it, and I know that, now I am away, I am brushing over those and looking back with rose-tinted glasses.

However, I have now moved to another school where they have put me in quite a high-up position. I am torn, because part of me wants the responsibility and, having come from somewhere that had a great way of doing things, I feel I have a lot to offer, but also don't want to be "that person" who is always banging on about where they used to be and how great it was.  I try not to talk about that at work.

I left my job feeling confident in my abilities and within three weeks I feel lost, lonely, bad at my job and (stupidly) desperate to give up and do something easier. I suffer from anxiety and have seen a therapist about this before and I think this makes it very easy for me to believe instantly that I am terrible at everything and that everyone hates me and is watching me and thinking I am awful the second I get feedback that isn't positive.

I want to be better and more resilient. I am in my twenties, and don't want to be thought of as a "Snowflake" because I worked really hard at my old job, through stressful times and got good results and did good work.

I am trying my best to work hard and stay positive but I can't switch off my worries and anxieties about work. It makes me ill and I feel bad for my husband although he is wonderful and looks after me so well.

I wonder whether perhaps teaching isn't for me and I should leave, but that obviously creates a lot of uncertainty. My friend did it and never looked back would it be the same for me? Am I just being a coward?

I really need some advice on what to do next and I don't want to always be talking about the same things and worries to the people around me.

Thank you!

Got a question for Viv? Email her at The Dear Viv podcast airs weekly on The Pool at 5pm on Tuesdays. All letters will be edited for length. Unfortunately Viv cannot reply to your emails personally. 

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