I’m in between jobs at the minute, so that’s given me a lot of time to think. I always stay very busy until the point of almost breakdown to avoid it, but I can’t stop thinking about how empty I am. I feel lonely wherever I go. And when I do see people that I love and care about I am briefly happy, before again feeling a hole open up inside of me. I have been going to therapy and I really feel we were getting somewhere but I had to move away (for work) before I could complete all of my sessions. I am an only child and I have had a bit of a tough upbringing and as such only really speak to my mum. However, she has her own life and I’m 26 now and need to learn how to manage my own feelings better. From the outside I appear to be smart, happy and attractive. I have a partner who I know loves me a lot. Inwardly, though, I feel so empty and find it hard not to cry all the time. How can I start to feel more tethered in the world and connected to others? All I want most is for somebody to understand me and to be a part of something. But I’m also very scared of being judged and thought of as needy. Sorry for the sombre tone of this email, but I feel completely flat.
Got a question for Viv? Email her at DearViv@thepoolltd.com. The Dear Viv podcast airs weekly on The Pool at 5pm on Tuesdays. All letters will be edited for length. Unfortunately Viv cannot reply to your emails personally.