Dear Viv: Am I a toxic friend?

On this week's podcast, Viv discusses what to do when a friend has let your friendship die out

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By Viv Groskop on

Dear Viv,

What are your thoughts about toxic friendships from the other side?

I had a friend in my life who I considered one of my closest friends. It came as a shock that I was gradually edged out of her life with no explanation. It has caused me great hurt and sadness.

Just a bit of context, the friend was a mum I met at the school gate. I expect it’s not uncommon that friendships fizzle out when the common ground of a primary school is over, however, in this case I thought that a deep and life-lasting friendship that went beyond our children had been made and it has also hurt me that she has continued relationships with other mutual "mum" friends but chosen to distance herself from me.

Was I considered by her to be a "toxic" friend? I wasn’t aware that of what I might have done to make her feel that way, and not knowing why our friendship ended for her made me doubt myself very much.

I’m in a better place now, but wondered if you had considered friendship from the other side?

Got a question for Viv? Email her at The Dear Viv podcast airs weekly on The Pool at 5pm on Tuesdays. All letters will be edited for length. Unfortunately Viv cannot reply to your emails personally. 

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