Dear Viv: How can I avoid the "butler in the buff" at a hen do?

On this week’s podcast, Viv discusses what to do when you’re not completely on board with your friend’s hen party

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By Viv Groskop on

Dear Viv,

I really hope you can help.

My friend is having a Butler in the Buff at her hen do and I hate the idea. Her Hen do is a weekend break at a large house with around 15 other girls. I’ve already excused myself from the full weekend (I do not have the finances, as my boyfriend and I are saving for a deposit, we would quite like a holiday of our own this year and the wedding itself will be a one or two-night hotel stay). The Butler in the Buff is coming round to the house after the day's activities and before we head out to dinner. I already feel bad about not staying the whole weekend and now feel like I can’t say I will be leaving early, which I would have to, to skip the creepy and seedy Butlers in the Buffevent. Can I excuse myself for a walk around the city and meet them later for dinner? I really really don’t want to make scene on the hen weekend but I would hate for my boyfriend to be up to this sort of stuff at a stag and I really disagree with it (both on moral grounds as objectifying another person and also because it just makes me feel so gross and icky). What can I do?! Please can you share some of your sage advice!

With love,
I’m not a prude, it’s crude.

Got a question for Viv? Email her at The Dear Viv podcast airs weekly on The Pool at 5pm on Tuesdays. All letters will be edited for length. Unfortunately Viv cannot reply to your emails personally. 

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