Going on holiday can be a bloody nightmare. All the airport drama, all the stress of getting to your hotel and it doesn’t even help knowing that you’re only feeling so cranky because you’ve got Pre-Margarita Syndrome. Headaches and cramps are a pain, but quite normal at this time; having a couple of ibuprofen and some Dairy Milk is an excellent remedy to these normal womanly woes.
Once you arrive, you’re going to need something to soak it all up and lock it away, something to offer protection so that your stresses don’t leak out all over you and your (probably) white swimsuit and embarrass you in front of your friends and family. You, my friend, need the Pasadena Pool Float.
I know it looks big – maxi, you might even say – but we’ve all needed a Pasadena Pool Float at some point in our lives. Maybe when we were young and our floating cycles were all over the place. Maybe when we changed our chlorine-control medication and suddenly we were floating a bit more heavily than we were used to. Or maybe you’re one of the unlucky women who has had to rely exclusively on maxi pool floats since they started floating as a teen.
Either way, the Pasadena Pool Float – which clearly made it to market without a single woman being involved – absorbs liquid like nothing else, which admittedly isn’t ideal for a pool float, but it does mean you can feel dry and comfortable all day long. It is a necessity for the modern woman and it is therefore outrageous that we still have to pay tax on it. They’re the only way to truly keep ourselves protected from Mother Nature while in the pool – unless we start using pool noodles, but my mate Nikki says, if you use them, you’re not a virgin any more, so…