So, Emma Watson had a “sulky day in bed” and the world was Up. In. Arms. (If you missed the furore: in a recent interview, she confessed that she hadn't coped with criticism over her UN HeForShe campaign and took to her bed for the day.)
Now, I'm not going to go there on the rights and wrongs of her actions because a) it's been written about lots and b) when I saw the report, my first thought was: "She spent a whole day in bed! How deeply glorious!"
When was the last time you spent a day in bed? Apart from taking to your duvet when you're feeling sick, or in the first throes of a new relationship, I bet the answer is: "I can't for the life of me remember."
I *dream* of a whole guilt-free day between my sheets. For me, it’s up there with a two-week holiday in the Maldives. Obviously, “guilt-free” is the operative word here, because any attempt at luxuriating in bed for a day would come with a heavy dollop of guilt and a to-do list nagging away at me.
If I could mentally shoo both of these away though, how fun it would be to while away a cold, mizzy February day. I would surround myself with entertainment (laptop for Zara.com perusing; TV for Homes Under The Hammer). I would buy Toast pyjamas, finish reading Little Deaths at last and finally get round to downloading the Deliveroo app. Shell-pink silk pillows and cashmere bed socks would be nice. Like Greta Garbo, I would vant to be alone (can’t be doing with sheet-wrestling). And I wouldn't be fussed when it would take place: on a weekday or weekend.
Of course, like the Maldives holiday, a duvet day is never going to happen. I have two sloths for teenage boys to set an example to. Also, I am not Emma Watson, an A-list actress who doesn’t have to hold down a Monday-to-Friday, nine-to-five job.
The idea of employer-sanctioned Duvet Days is a great idea if work is genuinely getting on top of you and you need some time out, but Sulky Duvet Days, It’s Cold Outside Duvet Days and Just Bloody ‘Cause Duvet Days, well, they’re probably just a one-way ticket to pissing off your work colleagues: “Sorry, not coming in today, as I’ve decided I can’t be arsed. You don’t mind taking that meeting with that mardy client on your own for me, do you?” Ditto with sickies – I learnt early on in my career they don’t work. The few I did pull were spent fretting and feeling so guilty that I was dropping colleagues in the shit that I actually guilted myself into feeling ill.
The idea of employer-sanctioned Duvet Days is a great idea if work is genuinely getting on top of you, but Sulky Duvet Days, well, they’re probably just a one-way ticket to pissing off your work colleagues
On reflection, I think I'll just settle for the odd Sunday lie-in instead. I’ll ignore the naysayers who tut about Monday “jet-lag” and use it as a shopping opportunity to buy these following new things to make it an occasion to remember. Emma Watson, I hope you're taking notes.
1. Bed shawls
I don’t know about you, but I suffer from cold shoulders. I had in mind I wanted a shawl or capelet, but style didn’t seem to be a priority amongst the motley crew I found online. Fortunately, a friend put me on to this site: WoolOvers, a little gem of a site that sells cashmere ponchos, perfect lounging attire, also cashmere scarves that are an absolute steal for £49, ditto cashmere-mix bedsocks for only £19.
2. Teddy bear bedsheets
Once on your bed, trust me, you’ll never want to sleep between other sheets again. You can buy duvets and mattress toppers in this fabric too, but I think I will stick to pillows and fitted undersheets for now, or I’ll take to my bed full-time.
3. Beanbag trays
You might think these are a little little bit “Nana”, but bear with me – these Bosign trays from Trouva are a 21st-century update. They are perfect for laptop-working, as well as breakfast, lunch and supper in bed (in for a penny, I say), as their beanbag bottoms won’t slide off your lap.
4. A “boyfriend” pillow
If you ask me, this shearling pillow with wings from Urban Outfitters is everything a partner should be – supportive, tactile and doesn’t answer back.
5. A Teasmade
I have fond memories of these. My mum and dad had one by their bed and they were such a revolutionary piece of kit at the time. To my surprise, I’ve found they are still going strong and I love the fact that they have kept the vintage design. For coffee drinkers, there are now more machines with timers than you can shake a stick at. I’ve chosen this one, mainly because it’s not black and ugly, so won’t look out of place on a bedside table.
6. A bedside table that sorts your cables
Yes, yes, I *know* you shouldn’t have your phone by your bed, but for me personally, it’s not an option. This IKEA Seljie bedside table is £20 and comes with a socket in the drawer for your extension cables, so you can stow your phone away if you have problems with sleeping/blue light, but still need it nearby.
7. A bedside alarm that’s nice to you
On the 364 days you can’t have a lie-in, it’s good to have an alarm clock that wakes you up in the gentlest manner possible. I used to rely on my phone, but whenever I hear that particular ringtone now, I feel sick to the pit of my stomach, as I associate it so much with pain of dragging myself out of bed. Someone loaned me one of these and, I must say, they’re good. They wake you up with a light that gradually gets lighter (there’s an optional alarm and snooze button), and do the opposite at night, so you fall asleep in the loveliest way.