It’s finally here: the first week of February *blows party horn* – hello, money; good riddance, sobriety. As if cash in the bank and a glass of wine in hand weren't fun enough, to top it all off it's officially spring. What do you mean it's not in your diary?
Slash-priced clothes and sale bins are about to be packed to off to God knows where, leaving shop floors brimming with bright colours and every shade of neutral imaginable including – gag – “weird lilac”. Wait until the floral prints arrived – there'll be more flowers in high-street stores than a garden dedicated to Barbara Cartland at the Chelsea Flower Show. Like I said, it's spring, but only inside our favourite shops.
I'm not sure why the retail calendar is so out of synch with the weather and, ergo, our lives (I love shopping for sandals in the middle of winter – not). Nor can I decide which is worse: seeing tons of woolly jumpers in boiling hot July or flimsy tops and dresses in freezing cold February. Brr. Having said that, around this time of year, my winter coat begins to get on my nerves – scruffy, bobbly and out of shape, I'm sick of wearing it every single day. But, despite my constant it's-all-about-the-bomber refrain, I'm no fool – I'm not about to start wearing a thin jacket in lieu of my winter coat. That would be mad, although not as mad as wearing the open-toe ankle boots currently for sale in Zara.
Forget about pale coats for now, white trainers are far easier to pull off – or on
One way of perking myself up during this seemingly never-ending winter – other than booking a holiday – which I haven't done yet, is wearing bright white trainers with everything. Yes, everything. I bought a new pair only last week upon realising my two-year-old Stan Smiths had taken on the appearance of a pair of drunken Glastonbury revellers. Dirty and a bit smelly, they were the opposite of box fresh.
On the subject of bright white, women in white coats – as opposed to men in white coats – look great and v stylish in spring. But forget about pale coats for now, white trainers are far easier to pull off – or on. Just don't do what I did yesterday and wear them on a long dog walk. Dramatically pulling wet wipes from your bag, while patting mud off trainers as you curse the dog for having four feet, doesn't exactly fit with the whole “keeping it casual” vibe.
High-street retailers may be trying to sell us spring, but now is not the time to start wearing head-to-toe pale pink *devastated face*. So, keep it casual and carry on; buy a pair of new white trainers. But, for God's sake, remember: don't forget the wet wipes.