Lately horror films have really upped their game, maybe because the real world is already terrifying us all. The best film to come out this weekend, Raw, is distubing, gorey and genuinely great. It follows vegan vetinary student Justine through her first year at university, where she makes friends, parties and eats raw meat – typical freshers activities. As the tension builds, as does Justine's appetite for meat eventually pushing her to try human flesh reportedly causing viewers at the Toronto Film Festival to faint.
Over on your laptop or whichever device you watch Netflix on is The Discovery. Also not a very cheerful pick (sorry) but nonetheless an interesting one, the film is set one year after scientists prove the existence of an afterlife – causing thousands of people to commit suicide in order to reach it.
Also out this on Netlix this week is part two of Baz Luhrman's hip-hop birth story The Get Down. It's an absolute must watch for music fans.
Graham Norton is back! The big names on the red sofa tonight are Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman, joined by Jack Whitehall and Gemma Whelan of last week's Decline and Fall fame. Take That are providing the music, but we all only watch for Graham and his under the radar side-eye anyway.
Take That have got an album to flog, so they're back on the TV on Saturday at 8:30pm on ITV. There's only three of them now so they've all got to graft twice as hard, bless them, but I'm sure it will be worth a watch if you've got nothing else to watch. All together now, "and through it aaaaalll..". Wait, that's not Take That?
Full disclosure: I have never seen Line Of Duty. Yes I am a bad person and yes I know I should. It's on again on Sunday, but you already know that and you're looking forward to it. But for me every episode that passes signals another hour I will have to spend on Netflix, sprouting tendrils like the couch potato I truly am.